Depression, Time Off, and a New Hobby

Life has not been super eventual lately.    Summer Youth Fitness ended last week.    I don't have complaints other than low enrollment.    The children behaved well, much better than last year.    The employees were decent too.    My main issue was with grad students that worked hourly for me.    I expected the issues to come from undergrads but nope....grad students.    I still need to write a closing/thank-you email to the participating families.   I also want to create a survey for families so I can get some data about some future ideas.   I'll do some work on the program tomorrow when I need to kill some time at ISU before my eye appointment.  

I had a really rough weekend in terms of mental health.    I couldn't get out of bed and was in a really bad funk.    Dan had me get up and go out to eat with him so that helped a bit.    I felt bad paying to go out to eat because I'm not able to eat  much lately either.   I have no appetite.    Yes, I know...time to schedule a doctor visit.    My friend Mike reminded me of something that plagues me from time-to-time.   I thrive when I'm busy and structured.     When I have downtime I struggle.     He reminded me that I need to do things for myself and I need hobbies.    And my hobbies need to not be related to working.     Seems pretty sad that I only get enjoyment from work at times.    I've had a growing interest in yoga as I need to find ways to relax.    I am trying some yoga classes this week.   The studio is here in Ankeny.   There are several in Ankeny but one stood out to me because of its well-designed website and nice variety of classes.    I need to start out simple since flexibility isn't my forte.  

Time for some honesty:

• I didn't enjoy my time with Jude as much as I thought I would.    The step-parent experience frustrates me more than anything.    I keep comparing him to Gavin and I shouldn't be doing that.   Jude has had a different upbringing and that upbringing is what is causing some issues.   Don't get me wrong, Gavin's upbringing wasn't always sunshine and rainbows but I think he had more stability when he was younger.     And I cannot stand how dependent Jude is on technology.   It drives me crazy.     

• For awhile, Dan has been wanting to speak to my parents about marriage.   He wanted to be traditional and make sure they are on board and I can appreciate that.    He has been wanting to bop up to Waukon on occasion and I've told him to calm down about it.    It finally seemed logical to go up recently since LeAnn was having her garage sale and I wanted to see Grandma Stika.   I know it would be tricky to get both Mom and Dad in the same place at the same time.    He did speak to them about it and I don't feel it went as well as it should have....sigh.    Go figure.     Combine with me feeling rather down lately, things haven't been great with he and I as he doesn't feel it went super well either.     

So I plan to do some yoga this week, minimal work, and attend some appointments.    I paid a buttload of bills yesterday and everything is ready for Gavin and his school year.    He had his physical on Friday along with a second meningitis shot.  His registration fees are paid except I still need to buy his athletic pass but that will be a bigger deal in the winter when he goes to basketball games.    He bought his own stuff for football so I don't have to bop out and accompany him to stores.   I need to schedule some senior picture shots.    I do want him to have some taken in NE Iowa too in the fall (ahem Alissa).    

That's enough for now!