Today is November 24, 2014. I've had a month of hell. The month of hell has led to another restart for my life which is a bummer but doable at the same time. Break-ups in your thirties appear to be a little bit easier. Maybe it's all that life experience or having a better perspective on matters. I've had plenty of moments of self-pity in the last weeks but I've also been humbled by the experience. Many other people are dealing with situations that are worse than mine. I still have Gavin. I still have my health. I have great family and luckily get to see them soon for the holidays. Being single again isn't the end of the world but it will certainly present some challenges in the future.
It does feel odd to be a single-parent again. Mind you I still felt like a single-parent in the past relationship but I had more help with purchasing groceries, taxi services for the boy, etc. Gavin deserves more of my attention so I'm not scared about the household change, I just hope I can meet his needs with his extracurriuculars, money for him to do social things with friends, etc. He only has one adult around him now but I still have the same weird work schedule.
I honestly thought I'd have things figured out by now. I'm pleased that I have my professional life figured out but when it comes to my personal life, yikes. One of the issues that led to my new single status was my concern about the length of the relationship and the fact I felt I was no where closer to marriage. I didn't even feel like I was on the path for marriage. The topic brought up other issues and concerns and BAM the relationship is over and I'm looking for a new residence.
Speaking of residences, I was fortunate to find an apartment in the correct part of Ankeny. I had to be careful with boundary lines so Gavin stayed at his current school. It is more expensive than what I wanted but renting in Ankeny is different than Ames. The apartment includes a decent number of utilities, I only pay for the gas/electric bill. Most places down here have you pay for all those extra bills and don't include much. It's weird. Nevertheless, we have a new home.
I hope to hear from a moving company soon so I can complete the transition process. They better call in an hour, if not sooner!
I guess in the back of my mind I almost figured you guys would break up. I'm not sure why, but it just never seemed like marriage was going to happen. Somewhat similar to Jason and I.
ReplyDeleteI think a new place, a new phase is good for you and Gavin. I realize it means new challenges. Ultimately, I think you'll be happier. I was surprised when Gavin said he was glad to be out of Jon's house. That just goes to show that he was unhappy and wanted out too. The timing isn't ideal, but in these situations, the timing is never idea.
I really like your new apartment. I hope you do too. Faith makes things possible, not easy. When one door closes, another opens. If He brings you to it, he'll bring you through it. Enough cliches?
Congrats on the new blog too. Go for it! See you soon!! :)