Happy Birthday to Me

Well I'm another year older.   The cool thing is that I don't feel older.   The other distractions in life really didn't let me focus on my birthday.   I hope I don't associate recent events with my birthday in upcoming years.   It was a good trip home.   It can be summed up with:

• A fun pre-Thanksgiving party that led to me drinking too much and not feeling so great.   However it was nice to see a cousin and his family from Oklahoma.   I saw them last at a wedding in Oklahoma and don't remember talking to them much at all back then.
• A wonderful Thanksgiving day with family.   I ate too much food.   It was nice to have a normal appetite again. 
• A Black Friday that involved no crazy shopping.   No interest in that whatsover.    We did some shopping in a local community and got some much needed things for my apartment.   Also had cake, a few gifts, and a game night.  

I made the mistake of checking Facebook on my birthday (mainly to see my birthday greetings) and noticed that HE deleted me from Facebook.   So much for the "we can stay civil and likely be friends" plan.   I was naive for thinking that would work in the first place.   When I say "friends", I didn't expect anything super chummy in the near future but I would like to know how his parents are doing and see updates about the dog.   He must think it's best to just cut ties which is sad but I guess if that makes it easier for him, oh well.   It goes back to him being a "black and white" person.   There is no gray or middle area.   It's apparent that everything he said to me on the night of the break-up and the days after was a lie.   He was saying things to appease me so he could get me out of the house.   I thought that dating an older guy would ensure maturity but I was mistaken.   I feel like I was an inconvenience in his life and the last five years were a complete waste.  

First Entry...Many More to Come!

Today is November 24, 2014.    I've had a month of hell.   The month of hell has led to another restart for my life which is a bummer but doable at the same time.   Break-ups in your thirties appear to be a little bit easier.  Maybe it's all that life experience or having a better perspective on matters.   I've had plenty of moments of self-pity in the last weeks but I've also been humbled by the experience.   Many other people are dealing with situations that are worse than mine.   I still have Gavin.  I still have my health.   I have great family and luckily get to see them soon for the holidays.   Being single again isn't the end of the world but it will certainly present some challenges in the future.  

It does feel odd to be a single-parent again.   Mind you I still felt like a single-parent in the past relationship but I had more help with purchasing groceries, taxi services for the boy, etc.  Gavin deserves more of my attention so I'm not scared about the household change, I just hope I can meet his needs with his extracurriuculars, money for him to do social things with friends, etc.   He only has one adult around him now but I still have the same weird work schedule. 

I honestly thought I'd have things figured out by now.   I'm pleased that I have my professional life figured out but when it comes to my personal life, yikes.   One of the issues that led to my new single status was my concern about the length of the relationship and the fact I felt I was no where closer to marriage.   I didn't even feel like I was on the path for marriage.   The topic brought up other issues and concerns and BAM the relationship is over and I'm looking for a new residence.  

Speaking of residences, I was fortunate to find an apartment in the correct part of Ankeny.   I had to be careful with boundary lines so Gavin stayed at his current school.   It is more expensive than what I wanted but renting in Ankeny is different than Ames.   The apartment includes a decent number of utilities, I only pay for the gas/electric bill.   Most places down here have you pay for all those extra bills and don't include much.   It's weird.  Nevertheless, we have a new home.  

I hope to hear from a moving company soon so I can complete the transition process.   They better call in an hour, if not sooner!