Let the Break Begin

It has been a goal to blog in the past weeks but I decided to be a professional and stick to my work duties.   As with most semesters, I had piles of grading but I have to admit I did much better with the workload this time around.   In past years, I've procrastinated or fell behind which resulted in late nights and a sense of panic during final's week.   I like to hand back major assignments on the date of the final exam.    So the date of a final exam governs when I have to have grading tasks completed for each class.   I had grading done a couple days before the final exams so that helped with the pace and sanity.  

We've lived in the apartment long enough now that we need to start up a cleaning schedule.   It's kind of a treat that the place is so new.   It takes awhile for dirt to show up.    Depending on gift cards given at Christmas or money from the next pay check, I need to get a wet and dry Swiffer.   I think that will work best for cleaning the tile in many rooms as well as the wood laminate flooring.    I don't think we need a vacuum or least not a huge vacuum.   I really wish I hadn't sold the small I had for years at our garage sale in the summer.   It would be perfect for vacuuming the bedrooms.  

I honestly thought I would feel lonely by now.    I really don't and I don't know what to make of that. It's probably a good sign that I like having my own place again.   It's nice to have my own routine and to a certain extent, I can do what I want, when I want to do it.   I'm interested in picking up a hobby of some sort.    Or rekindling a hobby from the past.   I've considered joining a book club.   I may be doing a bible study in January.   I don't see myself doing anything super creative because I'm not artsy.   I may need to do more research to see what I can fit into my schedule.   And of course, I've also considered adding a fitness class or something to my life to see if that would be a good choice for filling time.  

I did turn my grades in today and have a list of domestic things I want to get done before we depart for Waukon.    I still have boxes sitting around that need to either be stored away or fully unpacked.   I am trying to figure out how to best organize my desk area.   A lot of the remaining boxes pertain to papers and work documents.   I need to reorganize my filing cabinets and my motivation to go through all that stuff is lacking.   I should be able to throw away a lot of things though.  I have a huge pile of clothes that need to be donated, especially this year so I can use the donation for my taxes.   I still need to wrap presents too.   I made a huge dent in my Christmas cards last night.   The list of those receiving cards has been reduced again.   I am pretty happy with my choice of Christmas presents as Gavin and I spent an equal amount on each person.   I still need to get a couple things for Gavin though.   He's been difficult to buy for and I will likely need to make-up for a lack of gifts at his birthday.    I guess another way to look at it though is that he has everything he needs, which isn't a problem either.   

I guess that's it for now, hopefully I'll blog more over break.  

Settling In

I should be grading at this moment...working away at a huge stack of student projects.   That isn't appealing though so I figured I would write another entry here and do some other small tasks at work.  I am stuck in Ames today because I also teach for DMACC tonight at their Ames site.   It didn't make a lot of sense to drive home for a bit and drive back to Ames.    I don't have the gas money to waste.  

The apartment is coming together nicely.   The area that I will call my "desk" or work area still needs a lot of work.   It's also our dining room table area.   It's starting to feel more natural to use the kitchen and laundry room.   We rarely use the living room because of the TV not being connected yet to Direct TV.   I was motivated this week and bought a flat screen TV.   I was aiming for a 32" screen but Sam's Club had a 39" close to the same price.   The sales person was funny because they kept saying it was "only HDTV" because I think they wanted me to buy a Smart TV or something.   No thank you.   I think when the TV actually works we'll be more likely to sit in that room.   It will be cozy to watch TV or a movie and use the fire place too.    I envision grading a lot in the recliner.  

I'm trying to find more ways to be social and get out (after the semester) so I don't become a homebody.   You'd think in such a heavily populated area I'd find oodles of activities but I'm not yet.   I'd rather do things that are free or very low priced.    I've considered book clubs and am trying to pay attention to what is offered at our church.  I'm also considering some yoga experiences too.

The more we are settling in to the apartment the more I'm realizing how lucky I am to find that apartment in the first place.   I've still looked around Ankeny to see what my other options would be and I truly did get lucky with the monthly rent fee.   The location doesn't feel as odd to me anymore either.   I will admit the traffic is worse though.   I need to be sure to leave 10-15 earlier than usual, whether it be taking Gavin to school or during other errands.   I do like having so much space too.  We need to better organize what we keep in our downstairs storage space but we have decent closet space up in the apartment too.   I haven't spoken or met anyone in the apartment yet.   It was the same way when I lived in my last apartment in Ames too.   

I think people have been surprised by how well I'm doing.   I really don't get upset anymore but do have periods of sadness.   It seems odd not going out to cut down a Christmas tree like we've done in past years.   We have a couple small Christmas trees we'll use and I told Gavin we'll see about getting a larger fake tree when they are on clearance after Christmas.   

I guess that's enough of an update for now.    

Happy Birthday to Me

Well I'm another year older.   The cool thing is that I don't feel older.   The other distractions in life really didn't let me focus on my birthday.   I hope I don't associate recent events with my birthday in upcoming years.   It was a good trip home.   It can be summed up with:

• A fun pre-Thanksgiving party that led to me drinking too much and not feeling so great.   However it was nice to see a cousin and his family from Oklahoma.   I saw them last at a wedding in Oklahoma and don't remember talking to them much at all back then.
• A wonderful Thanksgiving day with family.   I ate too much food.   It was nice to have a normal appetite again. 
• A Black Friday that involved no crazy shopping.   No interest in that whatsover.    We did some shopping in a local community and got some much needed things for my apartment.   Also had cake, a few gifts, and a game night.  

I made the mistake of checking Facebook on my birthday (mainly to see my birthday greetings) and noticed that HE deleted me from Facebook.   So much for the "we can stay civil and likely be friends" plan.   I was naive for thinking that would work in the first place.   When I say "friends", I didn't expect anything super chummy in the near future but I would like to know how his parents are doing and see updates about the dog.   He must think it's best to just cut ties which is sad but I guess if that makes it easier for him, oh well.   It goes back to him being a "black and white" person.   There is no gray or middle area.   It's apparent that everything he said to me on the night of the break-up and the days after was a lie.   He was saying things to appease me so he could get me out of the house.   I thought that dating an older guy would ensure maturity but I was mistaken.   I feel like I was an inconvenience in his life and the last five years were a complete waste.  

First Entry...Many More to Come!

Today is November 24, 2014.    I've had a month of hell.   The month of hell has led to another restart for my life which is a bummer but doable at the same time.   Break-ups in your thirties appear to be a little bit easier.  Maybe it's all that life experience or having a better perspective on matters.   I've had plenty of moments of self-pity in the last weeks but I've also been humbled by the experience.   Many other people are dealing with situations that are worse than mine.   I still have Gavin.  I still have my health.   I have great family and luckily get to see them soon for the holidays.   Being single again isn't the end of the world but it will certainly present some challenges in the future.  

It does feel odd to be a single-parent again.   Mind you I still felt like a single-parent in the past relationship but I had more help with purchasing groceries, taxi services for the boy, etc.  Gavin deserves more of my attention so I'm not scared about the household change, I just hope I can meet his needs with his extracurriuculars, money for him to do social things with friends, etc.   He only has one adult around him now but I still have the same weird work schedule. 

I honestly thought I'd have things figured out by now.   I'm pleased that I have my professional life figured out but when it comes to my personal life, yikes.   One of the issues that led to my new single status was my concern about the length of the relationship and the fact I felt I was no where closer to marriage.   I didn't even feel like I was on the path for marriage.   The topic brought up other issues and concerns and BAM the relationship is over and I'm looking for a new residence.  

Speaking of residences, I was fortunate to find an apartment in the correct part of Ankeny.   I had to be careful with boundary lines so Gavin stayed at his current school.   It is more expensive than what I wanted but renting in Ankeny is different than Ames.   The apartment includes a decent number of utilities, I only pay for the gas/electric bill.   Most places down here have you pay for all those extra bills and don't include much.   It's weird.  Nevertheless, we have a new home.  

I hope to hear from a moving company soon so I can complete the transition process.   They better call in an hour, if not sooner!